My things flew all over the place. S@#% I lost my steth (it’s littman by the way)! How stupid of me not to notice it had fallen out of my bag. I left my bag practically the entire day inside the O.R. I can’t believe someone would be interested in it. He/she could have gotten my laptop instead (not that I’m hoping it had happened). I have been losing my stuffs one after the other ever since clerkship started– my digital thermometer, sphygmomanometer, ID, penlight, (my mind?) and now my steth (. My med bag already lost its purpose. Going back to my lost steth, I had it for barely a year and it was only given to me by my tita which makes losing it harder for me to accept (aside from the fact that I don’t have money to replace it). I’m having separation anxiety again. I started rearranging my things wishing it had only been covered by my books or something. Of course I didn’t fail to do the re-enactment. The part where I try to recall what I did the day it was lost and go to the places I’ve been to and ask the people taking care of those places. In the end, when I’ve exhausted all the means but still haven’t found it, I’d lie in bed hopeless with tears soaking my pillowcase, blaming myself for being stupid. Then I'd tell my Mom how badly I feel hoping she'd sympathize with me.  

Always look at what you have left. Never look at what you have lost. 

- Rober H. Scguller